Funniest

Bump, similar situation here. Was asked to tell a joke at a top BB SD (think Raymond James/Oppenheimer/BNP Paribas). Took a risk and made a Rosa Parks joke to a black MD. Instead of laughing (what I thought was going to happen), he looked at me with a face of utter disgust and said "get the fuck out of my office, you cracker fuck".  What are some better jokes I could use next time to make sure I don't get kicked out of the interview room? Any help appreciated

 

Back in my day, I used to be safe and go with a corny dad joke. Ex: "Why won't peanut butter tell you a secret" -> "it's afraid you'll spread it". Prob not the best but definitely better than making a domestic violence joke. Good luck with the offer though

 

Domestic violence jokes are always dicey but man if they hit, they hit. Just try to feel out the room and it's always safe to use a very basic joke, don't try to do too much here young padawan.

 
Most Helpful

Alright soy boy. Go have a truly and massage your beat ass girlfriend's feet

 

How about you go run a few laps pal? Take a joke or I'll bring you to the Sig Chi basement and show you what it's like to suffer. 

 

Have we really started asking for jokes now, as a common interview question? Wow.

I would suggest avoiding anything gender (women), racial, religion, sexuality, or politics, would not likely end up safe options.

Perhaps look up on YouTube or TikTok for some "Dad Jokes" or even Finance Dad Jokes. That might give you some ideas that are very mild/neutral, without offending anyone, etc.

Honestly, I think the "inappropriate" jokes might get us laughing the most, but not likely safe for an interview. lol

Investor (30+ years); IB/RE/PE/Corp (MD level); currently, head of boutique private equity firm; principal of family office.
 

Heard this one once:

Superman is flying around one day when he spots Wonder Woman laying on the beach butt naked. He thinks to himself "I'm faster than a speeding bullet, I could fly down there, take care of my business and be gone before she can blink an eye". So he swoops in, does his thing and disappears into the sky. Sensing the commotion, Wonder Woman cries out "What was that?". Invisible Man replies " I don't know, but all of the sudden my ass hurts".

 

Interviewer: "Tell me a joke."

Me: "Well my dick was in the Guiness Book of World records book."

Interviewer: "Really?"

Me: "Yeah I had it in the book for a little bit, then the librarian told me to take it out."

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

More than anything I'm interested in what the 6 jokes the mods deleted were, those are probably the real bangers.

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

"I was about to tell you a time travel joke but you didn't like it."

Or tell them you have the funniest knock knock joke in the world. And really build up how amazing it is. Then say, "but you have to start it."

Then they'll say, "Okay, Knock knock." Then You say "Who's there?" Then all the pressure is on them to tell the funniest joke. But undoubtedly you'll both sit there in awkward silence as you give them the face like you're waiting for something amazing. If they have any sense of humor they'll understand what just happened and love it. 

Teach a man to make a fire, he'll be warm for the night. But set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
 

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