Was on the phone with my parents last night talking about holiday plans. They are still in Rhode Island while I'm out in San Francisco. I have a big family so Thanksgiving has always been a nice holiday to spend with them and catch up with my siblings who I rarely see. Last year while I was still at my previous job, I was too busy to go back home but at least I was able to spend Thanksgiving with my Uncle and grandparents who live in Miami.
This year for me to fly back to Rhode Island would be over a thousand dollars, even if I get the flight a week before. I really can't shell out a thousand dollars right now especially since I really want to fly back home for Christmas at least. My roommate who's from San Mateo is going on vacation with his family during Thanksgiving so spending it with them isn't an option either.
So, this year I will be spending Thanksgiving in my small apartment by myself. I don't feel bad for myself because it is what it is, but I don't know what I should do with myself besides watch football and maybe cook something nice. If anyone has experiences spending holidays alone, I'd be interested in hearing them.
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SFO - Providence is $1100 Wed - Sun, but only $541 Wed - Fri if you’re interested.
I appreciate you looking it up. Even that though just doesn't seem worth it to me to only be there for 2 nights
I'm seeing some Wed-Sun to Logan for $600. When I lived in LA I would often fly into Logan, silver line to South Station, MBTA down to Providence.
Look, you live on the opposite side of the country, you don't get many opportunities to go home and see your family, take the opportunities when you can. Really. I decided to leave a great job on the west coast to be closer to family. The $600-$1,000 seems like a lot, but ultimately time with your loved ones is far more meaningful than whatever rounding error that will be in your life. Maybe see if your family can chip in a bit? Get a 0% APR introductory offer for a CC and pay it off over 12 months or whatever, etc. There are ways to make it work. You've flown the coop, your time with your parents is significantly limited now, especially since you live 3,000 miles away.
Why dont you look into flying to BDL or BOS surely there is something cheaper
not much luck there either :/ SFO and OAK to Boston, Providence, Hartford, JFK, and LaGuardia are all pretty brutal
Have you made any friends in San Fran yet? That could always be an option. Sometimes you'd be surprised that other people don't have Thanksgiving plans either. Or even close co-workers.
This is a good idea, tap through your work or friends network. If they're good people, they'll understand.
Also, see if there are any singles holiday events or whatever hosted through your church/community center/gym/etc. This is more of a last resort thing, but it can be a good way to meet people as well in a similar situation, and strike up a new hobby as well.
This is fairly common for our generation. I've slept through the past couple New Years. It's not that big of a deal.
Agreed that it isn't the biggest deal in the world, but New Years eve sucks and is not comparable to Thanksgiving in the slightest.
You work in IB and can’t afford $1k? Something must be wrong with your finances
just seems like a lot of money to only be home for a couple days. If it was a $1000 dollar flight to spend a week in Hawaii or something, then that wouldn't be a big deal. It's just tough because it's Thanksgiving tho
Up to you but if I was in your shoes I’d not even think about it if that’s not sth you do on the regular
Spend the money. Time with family is priceless.
Second this. I’ve made the mistake very early on to forego some precious family events, and I still regret it to this day. The money I didn’t spend means absolutely nothing
As someone who worked in palliative healthcare (hospitals ICUs/ER/Med Surg), consider that time is something we lose everyday.
I spent a fair bit of time working at different hospitals, experienced a death of a family member at a young age, and seen the depressing sadness of people who lost loved ones with regrets.
One of the regrets, is not spending time with them (or not enough).
It may hurt temporarily, but eat the fees to go see your family and be happy. You may never know when it’ll be the next time, right?
You mentioned Christmas. At least go ahead and book that flight so you'll have one holiday with family. But everyone else's suggestions are great too. See if there's someone or a group that'll break bread with you for the holiday. I've been on both ends of that and it meant the world to me.
This may be radical, but does a greyhound connection from a cheaper destination exist? I took a red eye greyhound back in the day when I needed to get from the east coast back to chitown and didn’t have the ability to book a flight. It was interesting, I saw parts of the country I never thought I’d see. The uninterrupted travel time gave me a moment to think in solitude.
There are some unique individuals who ride greyhound or the like, but at no point did I feel in danger. Then again, I am used to the L at questionable stops in Chicago.
SFO to Boston is $570 (Wed to Sun); there is probably a bus or train to RI.
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When you’re 60, what do you think you’ll have wanted more? Those 2 days with family or inflation adjusted $1k?
I skipped out on a big family re-union trip during my IB days due to a combination of cost / time-off and definitely regretted it as the years have passed given that was the last opportunity to see some people who lived overseas and are no longer here... different situation but you can always make more money in life, can't necessarily make more time though, especially when it comes to loved ones.
To the extent you don't end up making it, have yourself the perfect day if you can. Maybe book yourself a spa day / big hike / really nice meal / whatever floats your boat.
I appreciate everyone providing their imput and stressing how valuable family time is. In the grand scheme of life, I understand an expensive flight isn't the end of the world and there are a lot of travel options I can pursue. I will definitely try to make something work now
Hey man that is really good to hear. Enjoy it. Cheers -
Never been more pumped about a stranger going to see his own family… Actually made me question if I should slow down on being a slave driver
dude honestly this made my day. I neglected hanging out with family in my 20s and now in my 30s I treasure all the times I have with family and friends. It really is the essence of life.
Delighted you changed your mind, my man! Like other people said, 1K is a rounding error on your career earnings and your time with your loved one is limited - enjoy it while you can.
My man.
I'm stingy with my silver bananas, but this earned it!
Your firm won’t let you remote for the week? Literally trying to fly on one of the busiest travel days of the year, should be manageable out of SFO/OAK/SJC if you can leave earlier.
I've been there- 3 options- enjoy the quiet time alone if you've been working a lot- find some friends/invite to someone else's celebration locally- hell I would invite you if I was close- or volunteer at an event to help the less fortunate and have new meaning to the holiday.
You thought about not seeing family enough to make a post about it - eat the expense and go. You won’t regret it.
Just looked for sfo to bos and its 480-550 from wed-sat.
I experienced the same situation several times when I was younger. Wasn't in banking yet or just starting, and I couldn't swing the costs. I would bum off of my friends and stay with their families, or if I knew anyone who was also alone we'd hang together.
But if you're flying solo, find a good bar, post up, get lunch, and watch football during the afternoon. Minimum of 4 beers. Shoot the shit with the other dudes who also have nothing to do, or who are avoiding their families. Then order a shit ton of Uber Eats - big cheat meal that you typically wouldn't go for. Don't cook. Grab a nice six pack on the way home and chill. Sleep in on Friday, absolutely don't work.
Thanksgiving is nice and all, but it's just a fancy dinner. Not the end of the world if you miss it, if you need to. Enjoy the solo time and decompress.
Plane tickets have gotten so damn expensive, it’s just ridiculous man. Where are the teleportation devices we should have had by now smh. So much for the “future”
This post is likely saved in the internet forever. And 20 years from now, you may dig it up and regret not spending that 1k. Go home, see your family.
One thanksgiving our parents were traveling so my brother and I went to one of the brazilian steakhouses where in addition to their meat buffet they also cooked some more traditional thanksgiving food. I don't remember which one it was, but it was tasty and caipirinhas rule.
Strip club!
I used to have to work the day after Thanksgiving. I did dinner with a colleague each year. Was actually pretty fun.
For those who threw monkey shit at me, I'm interested to know what about my post on spending holidays alone you felt was low-quality or inaccurate..
+1 sb to bring you back up. No turkey, roasted ham, steak, lobster etc for bringing down a bro
You never know when a last holiday is going to happen. Your loved one can have a massive MI and be gone tomorrow. Assuming the flight isn’t something that’s going to break the bank, just go.
Hey man, I keep seeing you posting about some variation of hating it in SF. Not sure if you're having trouble making friends or anything but feel free to PM me. I work in debt advisory/commercial finance down town. Would be cool to meet more people in the industry cause I came from an extreme non-target.
I appreciate it. In the past 8 months I've come to like the city a lot more. i was just living in a bad area for the first 3 months I was here so I was only exposed to the bad parts for a while. SF aint so bad. Making friends as an adult is hard in general tho
There's definitely a huge contrast between the bad and good parts of SF so it's good you made the move. I agree it's pretty hard to make friends as an adult, especially when working a lot, so as I said, feel free to hit me up! Already invited one of my friends to Thanksgiving at my parents' house in the East Bay.
Just another day, ya know?
there will come a day when you'd give anything to spend another moment with your family
So true.
I've spent the last Christmas and NY ave without my family mainly for the same reasons as yours (expensive flights to go back home and also work-related reasons).
I have no clue what you Americans do for thanksgiving, but probably start the day calling your family and wishing them well, going for a peaceful walk, having lunch at a nice place, and going to an event or meeting with someone in the evening could also be a way to spend the day.
Most importantly, do not spend it on the couch, games, or playing with ya pussy doll. You're better than that. Just relax and take it easy.
Ive spent a christmas alone. Treat yourself to a nice day, reward yourself for your hard work, rest, and most of all - be grateful for what you have and have accomplished up until now. You'll have a fine time
Go to Denny's or something, like in that movie where the father burnt the turkey
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