A Thought On Anxiety
A thought after getting back from a 9-day Italy trip and then slacking off for most of the first day home as well: I’ve just now started fully getting back on track. I started a tiny, quick project - replacing a torn-off key tag on one of my property keychains. When I decide it’s finally time to get back on track and anxiety from larger projects hanging over my head motivates action, I try to snowball productivity. If the countertops need to be wiped down, I’ll do that. Make sure the surroundings are clear. Then do a little quick bullshit projects. Import a small pile of business cards lying on the desk into the database. Deal with an Amazon return. Read this pamphlet about something that might be a minor improvement but is probably bullshit that’s been sitting in this pile of papers. Answer an easy email. So anyway, I took on such a project with this keychain. I found myself doing so anxiously and fumbling with the keys; driven by some imaginary panic that if this task isn’t completed quickly enough - and by the way, it should have been completed already eons ago - the following, more important tasks - known and unknown - won’t be completed in time and subsequently, your company will crumble and your wife will leave you and every single person you know will call you up and tell you to pound sand and you will have to go become a surf instructor in Maui as a backup life but first learn to surf… and then you start to picture that backup life and think maybe that’s not such a bad alternative if you’re over here getting anxious over keychains.
But the thing is, I just spent a good two weeks solid fucking off. Don’t get me wrong - shit got done and nobody I deal with was impacted negatively. But I was playing exclusively defense. And light defense at that. And I stand here now and nothing has burned down. But I expect it to start burning at the precise moment I make it my focus? This is a stupid mental thing that can be overcome by talking oneself through it - “logicking through it”, as I call it in my head. But how does one achieve such a state of awareness as a default?
Sativa.
shut up druggie go smoke your jazz cigarettes and laugh at cereal!
Welcome back to this side, Goldie!
thanks dawg I really missed it tbh. Italy ain't shit. Bunch of lazy, disorganized, loud, sing-songey motherfuckers. whole damn place smells like moped exhaust and cigarettes. half the landscape is permanent scaffolding. oh but goldie it's old it's historic. no fuck you. go watch what germany does and do that you lazy shits. a shower with three spigots but only half a door. brilliant. this elevator button seems to have been installed upside down. like right at the factory. and they shipped it like that. brilliant. is your restaurant open? no. when do you open? i don't know, when the shipment comes in probably, you can hang out. no thanks, italy. old rocks and slow loud motherfuckers. food wasn't even that good if you just eat well at home.
This is one of the finer rants I've seen lately.
Honestly, your contributions to this website are so insignificant that I never even realized you were gone.
I find that putting on a pair of surgical gloves and paying a homeless guy a few hundred bucks to beat the shit out of him really clears the ol noggin.
drugs or constant, practiced meditation. Also breathe dawg
bsaccount123 is my real password but nobody believes me.
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