Which office buzzwords do you hate? 
(Senior Baboon, 201
Points)
on 5/19/06 at 4:10pm
I came across this funny article in the Boston Globe a while back about all the annoying buzzwords people throw around the office.
If terms like "value-add" and "thinking outside the box" make you want to jam a laser pointer into your eye, you are not alone in your suffering. Having been asked to "leverage their core competencies" one too many times, workers all across the country are offering up a collective response: Stop the insanity.
What's the worst business jargon you hear around your office?
busines jargon
worst ive heard is "on a go-forward basis"
color...not what crayola was talking about
can someone give me some "color" on this post?
shoot me.
vomit
If I could just "piggy back" on what he was saying... or maybe someone else could kind of "unpack that" a little more.
Modeling
Do we really always need to "crank" or "jam"? There are some additional annoying modeling words, but these are the worst; constantly overused. I can't stand to hear either around the office anymore.
Business Jargon
The worst business jargon I hear on a daily basis is.. caveat.. the only caveat is.. i swear if I hear that one more time, I might have to use that laser pointer.
My worst is "at the end of
My worst is "at the end of the day"
I would have to agree that
I would have to agree that "jamming" is the most irritating modeling phrase ever.
the two worst are
"At the end of the day..."
"It is what it is"....
"talk to that point", "get
"talk to that point", "get our arms around that"
"we are in the business of
"we are in the business of creating synergies mate" "Shift those graphs" "Massage the red dots"
my least favorite
"why don't you go ahead and take a stab at that and get back to me" (usually from some lazy-ass associate pawning off his work)
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re: business jargon
everyday is another attempt at "going forward"
We?
What we need to do is ... Why don't we ... And of course Mr. Client, we will work through the night to get this to you first thing in the morning.
cranking
cranking
Any computer metaphor
"Get a download"
"He has some extra bandwidth"
"whats the time line" annoys
"whats the time line" annoys the hell out of me
fruit
-apples to apples
-apples to oranges
Ice-cream
Vanilla.
(Vanilla strategy, Vanilla buying, etc.)
"it is what it is."
"it is what it is."
touch base, circle up,
touch base, circle up,
as if it were a quick task
can you "roll these changes" through the model
"drill down" ... used by a
"drill down" ... used by a VP to say that you need to "drill down" on a certain topic - i.e. go away and do hours of pointless research for few tangible results
"at the end of the
"at the end of the day"
"let's take a stab at it"
"can we circle up"
"deep dive"
"net-net"
And my favorite, "capacity". John, do you have capacity to model this out to year 2329??
Buzzword of Death
EBITDA
who's your daddy?
Ha, I have to agree that
Ha, I have to agree that "capacity" is a pretty bad one.
re crank
i agree possibly the most annoying office jargon word
doctor leads
let's not hammer a dead horse
let's not reinvent the wheel
ahhhhh, how bout let's not throw a haymaker at your eye when you're not looking
hate the term
hate the term ...bandwidth...
"shoot me an e-mail"
"shoot me an e-mail"
CC
CC
How about so and so 'pinged
How about so and so 'pinged me' last night...as in sent an email via blackberry....ughhhhh....'pinged me'....shudder
"adding value"
"adding value"
"On a go-forward basis"
"On a go-forward basis" makes me cringe, too. Is the future tense not sufficient? Also dislike "offsite" used as a noun.
Roadmap is another one I
Roadmap is another one I can't stand. Just tell me the plan.
"low hanging fruit" "pari
"low hanging fruit"
"pari passu"
"ready, fire, aim"
"out of pocket"
"sh*t flows downhill".....
"let's huddle on this one"
"let's huddle on this one"
Let's ramp up
ramp up must be my least favorite of them all!
capacity
Do you have the "Capacity" to take on another project.
of course they already know what your answer should and will be...
Bankers love to "opine" on
Bankers love to "opine" on the situation. Loosely translated-here is our thoughts but if we are wrong, it was just an opinion, certainly not to be taken as an absolute...
Anything Latin. Para pisu
Anything Latin. Para pisu comes to mind.
Pro active
Isn't everyone pro-active? are there people that are anti-activity?
It's not the Buzzwords
It's not so much the buzzwords that I hate, but rather the people that drop them without end.
DD
generally bad news when someone mentions DD
capacity
if i hear my staffer say it one more time...
My fav
"net net"
I can't stand the word
I can't stand the word "analyst". Just call me what I am, your bitch.
spade a spade
Yes, they shouldn't be afraid to call a spade a spade. Perhaps more in the UK than US.
the us is too politically
the us is too politically correct for the spade spade comment
SYNERGY
SYNERGY
"in short order"
one of my VPs favourite expressions is "we need to get this done PDQ"