This Resume is Awesome for a Freshman
(Baboon, 106
Points)
on 2/17/12 at 11:23am
I am looking for an internship this summer at a small firm or hedge fund in CT and will attending my university's job fair.
I have attached my resume, please let me know what I can do to make it better.
Thanks in advance
Updated Resume:
http://www.razume.com/documents/24448
Original:
http://www.razume.com/documents/24433






I can't tell if your
I can't tell if your description for Walk Down Wall St. is supposed to be satirical or not.
For god's sakes get rid of that objective.
It's also insanely easy to track down who you are; kind of defeats the purpose of redaction if you leave on self-identifying details.
"I can't wait to start working so I can auto-ding anyone who puts an objective/profile/qualifications section on their resume."
might want to erase all the
might want to erase all the personal info
"If you survive to my age and you rack up a CV like mine, you can look at HR and say, "Fuck you. I don't try out."- Eddie
Improve GPA. Computers are a
Improve GPA. Computers are a personal interest? Can you program? No? Get it off your resume.
Also, there are WAY too many
Also, there are WAY too many headings and lines on your resume. Any way you could do some consolidation?
"I can't wait to start working so I can auto-ding anyone who puts an objective/profile/qualifications section on their resume."
This is not bad for your age
This is not bad for your age mainly because of your CIGNA thing, but talk more about that. And there must be some better way to say "worked with traders on trading desk." Also, what does "exchanging municipalities" mean?
Financial Modeling Training
Guide to Finance Interviews
Banking Resume
You are mixing tenses on some
You are mixing tenses on some of your activities. For example under Finance Club, which you are ostensibly are still doing, the first bullet says "attended", the nexte says "participate in . .."
Generally I would try to avoid verbs like this alltogether, "attended" "participated" sound very passive. You attended - so what? That just tells people you were taking up space. Did you do anything - present at any meetings, recruit new members. Focus on action.
Also lol at your description of caddy responsibilities. Not sure why but its really funny to me.
I know you are only a freshmen and so there is a temptation to throw everything and the kitchen sink on here but as others have noted it needs to be a bit more conslidated and sleek. Good luck
Also your Linkedin says you
Also your Linkedin says you are a Trader and that you were a trader for two months. This ambiguous at best and misleading at worst. Were you trading i.e. actually executing trades in the market? No? Don't say you were a trader.
your resume sucks. good luck
your resume sucks. good luck
1) Use the Mergers &
1) Use the Mergers & Inquisitions format.
Here you go:
http://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/investment-banking-resume-no-work-...
2)Remove "Objective" line. It adds no value.
3) Remove the High School section. Rework your ECs into your activities section. Only keep "Finance Club President", "Raised $76,547" and "Varsity Ice Hockey". Scrap the rest.
4) Redact all the personal information.
5) Try to use more power-phrases such as "led", "managed" etc.
6) Your Linked-In says that you're a trader. Since that is highly suspect, I would suggest removing it.
That's all for now. Come back with a re-formatted Resume, and we'll try to help out some more. BTW, it's great you started as a freshman - it's a hell of a lot more competitive hiring environment these days.
Calling Ron Paul an isolationist is like calling your neighbor a hermit because he doesn't come over to your property and break your windows.
how do you have a 3.0 after
how do you have a 3.0 after only one semester in finance?
lol @ the 109% return as part
lol @ the 109% return as part of your finance club, and your caddy description.
jec wrote: how do you have a
how do you have a 3.0 after only one semester in finance?
Exactly what I thought when I first looked at this...
1) You need to work on this
1) You need to work on this a lot... go download the Mergers & Inquisitions Template and follow his rules.
2) Your GPA is pretty bad especially for a freshman at a non-target.
3) That 109% return sounds stupid as hell.
4) Take off your HS education and move one or two points to your experience area.
5) Don't have so many activities at the bottom... only put a few important ones.
6) Take off all that personal information.
per ardua ad astra
chicandtoughness wrote: I
I can't tell if your description for Walk Down Wall St. is supposed to be satirical or not.
For god's sakes get rid of that objective.
It's also insanely easy to track down who you are; kind of defeats the purpose of redaction if you leave on self-identifying details.
Not supposed to be satire, I will revise it. I left the linkedin on there because I do not have any personal info on the account (no address) and I'm not worried about having my phone number out there... I can see who views my profile as I'm sure you all know. But I will cover it up. Thanks
Improve GPA. Computers are a personal interest? Can you program? No? Get it off your resume.
I was into computer hardware and built my own computers a few years back. However you are right, not relevant so I will remove it.
Also, there are WAY too many headings and lines on your resume. Any way you could do some consolidation?
I will clean it up and combine some of the main categories
This is not bad for your age mainly because of your CIGNA thing, but talk more about that. And there must be some better way to say "worked with traders on trading desk." Also, what does "exchanging municipalities" mean?
How about saying "gained experience through exposure to the trading desk" and I will delete the "exchanging municipalities" part. Cigna's fixed income group trades municipalities (fixed income) which are short term bonds.
You are mixing tenses on some of your activities. For example under Finance Club, which you are ostensibly are still doing, the first bullet says "attended", the nexte says "participate in . .."
Generally I would try to avoid verbs like this alltogether, "attended" "participated" sound very passive. You attended - so what? That just tells people you were taking up space. Did you do anything - present at any meetings, recruit new members. Focus on action.
Also lol at your description of caddy responsibilities. Not sure why but its really funny to me.
I know you are only a freshmen and so there is a temptation to throw everything and the kitchen sink on here but as others have noted it needs to be a bit more conslidated and sleek. Good luck
I will add that I was offered a position on the E-Board. Why is the caddy description funny? I thought I would add that because as you said, I'm a freshman and trying to fit every little thing on my resume as I can. However I found caddying to be a valuable opportunity to network with business people like yourselves. It was a private club, so every group I caddied for had some money and most came from a successful business practice/background.
Also your Linkedin says you are a Trader and that you were a trader for two months. This ambiguous at best and misleading at worst. Were you trading i.e. actually executing trades in the market? No? Don't say you were a trader.
I was not trading millions of funds on the desk with the other guys but I do manage my own portfolio's and do have extensive experience with Bloomberg. If you think it is misleading I will change it.
your resume sucks. good luck
Why waste my time and the time of others to read this?
1) Use the Mergers & Inquisitions format.
Here you go:
http://www.mergersandinquisitions.com/investment-banking-resume-no-work-...
2)Remove "Objective" line. It adds no value.
3) Remove the High School section. Rework your ECs into your activities section. Only keep "Finance Club President", "Raised $76,547" and "Varsity Ice Hockey". Scrap the rest.
4) Redact all the personal information.
5) Try to use more power-phrases such as "led", "managed" etc.
6) Your Linked-In says that you're a trader. Since that is highly suspect, I would suggest removing it.
That's all for now. Come back with a re-formatted Resume, and we'll try to help out some more. BTW, it's great you started as a freshman - it's a hell of a lot more competitive hiring environment these days.
I will make those changes, thanks for taking the time to go into detail.
how do you have a 3.0 after only one semester in finance?
As stated, I am a freshman. Only been at school for 1 semester, have not taken a single finance class yet. I had a 3.4 but Political Science (dont even ask why I bothered taking it) took my grade down. Thank god I'm a freshman.
lol @ the 109% return as part of your finance club, and your caddy description.
Still don't understand why the caddy description is funny.... and 109% isnt that bad with only $10k buying power and margin trading disabled. Thank god the VIX took a huge hit and I had a decent sized portion of my money in it.
1) You need to work on this a lot... go download the Mergers & Inquisitions Template and follow his rules.
2) Your GPA is pretty bad especially for a freshman at a non-target.
3) That 109% return sounds stupid as hell.
4) Take off your HS education and move one or two points to your experience area.
5) Don't have so many activities at the bottom... only put a few important ones.
6) Take off all that personal information.
Not too worried about the first semester Freshman GPA, still have 3 years and a semester to bring it up .5
I will remove the 109%, thanks.
One BIG question - since I am a freshman at college, shouldn't I leave my highschool info on the resume? Also, AOF is a preparatory school (same league as Hotchkiss, Choate, Taft, loomis etc.) so maybe that will interest someone who is reading it?
Thanks for the input everyone, I will work on it and post a new draft later.
Your caddying description,
Your caddying description, while candid, makes you sound like you think you're the shit... when as a caddy, you're not. At least, that's the impression I get from it. :Advising" on golf clubs makes you sound like a tool.
Come to think of it, a lot of your resume makes you sound like you're a tool.
One BIG question - since I am a freshman at college, shouldn't I leave my highschool info on the resume?
If by "high school info" you mean the name and a few details (GPA, SAT, etc.), then yes. But to list out all the side jobs and volunteer work? Nah. Just the most impressive and/or relevant things.
"I can't wait to start working so I can auto-ding anyone who puts an objective/profile/qualifications section on their resume."
Check M&I for guidelines. A
Check M&I for guidelines. A couple ideas, not having seen your resume (It wasn't up there):
- If your major is declared (or you know what it'll be), list your major GPA if it's better than your overall.
- If your SATs are >2100/2400 (M+V+W) or >1400/1600 (M+V), then be sure to list them. For, ACTs listed if > 31.
- Caddying and similar "menial" jobs are often looked upon favorably. I put down a retail job that I had, and that got me places I wouldn't have otherwise gotten interviews, shockingly enough.
- Interests should be something you can talk about. And preferably something that is not so uncommon that nobody will have it in common or know about it, but not something so common that everybody is "into" it. For example, I mentioned my passion for the history of warfare, but removed my interest in politics/current affairs, because while everybody has an opinion on politics, not everybody (but quite a few people) have a lot of well informed opinions on this particular field of history.
"When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is."
- Oscar Wilde
"Seriously, psychology is for those with two x chromosomes."
- RagnarDanneskjold
Thanks for the reply
Thanks for the reply UncleMilty. I updated my first post and put the updated resume on it.
Here is the link to the new one:
http://www.razume.com/documents/24448
I basically re-did the whole thing because it was, for lack of a better term, shit. I think this version looks, sounds and flows better.
Let me know what else I can do.
Thanks again guys.
"Shadowed Munipical Trading
"Shadowed Munipical Trading Desk" is not a position title. Perhaps you're looking for something like "Municipalities Trading Assistant"? If you indeed work on a project like you said, no need to demean it with the word "shadowing", which makes it sound like you sat around like a lump on a log and watched the action happen.
Also, some whitespace between your Education section and your Work Experiences header would be nice...
"I can't wait to start working so I can auto-ding anyone who puts an objective/profile/qualifications section on their resume."
Doesnt matter how many
Doesnt matter how many finance positions/internships you have if you have a 3.0 at Bryant.
3.0/4.0 in finance LOL
3.0/4.0 in finance
LOL
Connor wrote: 1) You need to
1) You need to work on this a lot... go download the Mergers & Inquisitions Template and follow his rules.
2) Your GPA is pretty bad especially for a freshman at a non-target.
3) That 109% return sounds stupid as hell.
4) Take off your HS education and move one or two points to your experience area.
5) Don't have so many activities at the bottom... only put a few important ones.
6) Take off all that personal information.
2 - Agree
3 - Agree, I think this is possible, but not at his level and if did do this I would hate to his risk.
4. Agree
5) No comment
6) Lol agree
Please criticize my new
Please criticize my new resume guys, not my old one. Thanks
The 3.0GPA is dogshit, I def. agree. I can say that I had all A's and B's and one C so that's why it is where it is. Keep in mind this is my first semester in college, so I am not too worried about it right now. I am working harder this semester and the college transition is behind me.
Here is the 100% return, I am #8.
http://www.marketwatch.com/game/to-begin-and-learn/ranking
I shorted the tvix back in December at $35 and held onto it. It's at $17 today.
Thanks for the replies.
What was your reasoning
What was your reasoning behind shorting AffyMax
and a short seller huh :P
I don't doubt your 109%
I don't doubt your 109% return...
But going off of what Blastoise said, your level of risk was most likely ridiculously high.
per ardua ad astra
are you seriously putting a
are you seriously putting a market watch game on your resume?
Connor wrote: I don't doubt
I don't doubt your 109% return...
But going off of what Blastoise said, your level of risk was most likely ridiculously high.
that kid straight short sells pharma companies something tells me insider knowledge
blastoise wrote: Connor
I don't doubt your 109% return...
But going off of what Blastoise said, your level of risk was most likely ridiculously high.
that kid straight short sells pharma companies something tells me insider knowledge
Future cell mate to Bernie Madoff right here
per ardua ad astra
Connor wrote: blastoise
I don't doubt your 109% return...
But going off of what Blastoise said, your level of risk was most likely ridiculously high.
that kid straight short sells pharma companies something tells me insider knowledge
Future cell mate to Bernie Madoff right here
Hahaha AFFY is a shitty company... completely speculative and very volatile. However I used to own it in my real portfolio back a few years ago when it was trading ~ $6... I had a small position and it wasn't moving anywhere so I sold it.Shoulda kept it, its at 10 and change today. However APPL seemed like the better option so I'm not kicking myself in the ass too hard :P