Female Bankers are not good at sex 
I had an experience last night that was rather unfortunate: I had sex with one of my female co-workers over at her place and it sucked. Now before I tell you what occurred I would like to put this in context. I have been told I am sexually proficient -actually I have been told I was great many times, but for the sake of modesty we will say proficient. This female compatriot is rather hot. When I say hot, I am distinguishing between cute and hot; that said, she was hot. So we get down to it and she just lie abed. She just lied there expecting me to do all the work. I did do all the work and when it was over she proclaims 'that was awesome' and proceeds to smoke a cigarette. Now what the fuck. I have worked with this analyst-ette many times over and I know how to gauge her level of sincerity. She was sincere, for I hope she was since she came, as it were. Now, normally I would just cast this episode aside and lapel it an unfortunate experience. I would also cast her aside, sexually that is, and probably call her a sexual miser -that is a sexual cheapskate. Indeed I have already done that. However, what engenders this post is not this one experience, but rather a history of them. Yes that is correct, a history, or many experiences akin to the aforementioned. It is this observation, and two others that force me to label IBD Analyst-ettes as sexual misers.
don't dip your pen in company ink
don't dip your pen in company ink, I think this phrase is very relevant in ibanking, because most of these women are overworked and exhausted. I mean yesterday was a workday, so most likely you did it after work, so both of you were exhausted.
I am not sure I understand
I am not sure I understand your ink/pen example. Anyway, you bring up a relevant point. I would agree with it, however, this has occured before.
-Just judging from that past. What am I to conclude?
nobody cares, man. Posting
nobody cares, man. Posting about yourself being "sexually proficient" just makes you seem like a douchebag. Find a friend and tell your stupid story to them instead.
ink pen example
it means you don't fuck people from work because it causes nothing but drama.
RogueBanker: i'm assuming
RogueBanker: i'm assuming you're young and think that pounding a motionless girl is fun. And it is, of course, but it does get fucking lame and boring when she's just lying there.
"Anyway, you bring up a relevant point. I would agree with it, however, this has occured before.
-Just judging from that past. What am I to conclude?"
Dan, that guy is an idiot and his one-sided point sucks. Of COURSE the girl is exhausted, but SO ARE YOU. You, too, are in IBD and work insane hours. What the fuck is that about? It's no excuse.
And the fact that it has happened in the past multiple times does, IMO, give you the right to make this conclusion.
"it means you don't fuck people from work because it causes nothing but drama."
Shut up you New Jersey fuckhead. Drama has nothing to do with this.
I'd take you seriosly
zala why don't you go back to writing your interviewer rape/murder stories, and leave intelligent conversation to the rest of us?
HAHA
Njandrewg, if you are seriously arguing that your post was more on-topic and logical than mine, go ahead.
are there any
female ibankers around here to counter/confirm (!?) Dan's argument? :-)
yes
I'm going to have to say yes.
"Shut up you New Jersey fuckhead.
I don't see why you needed to use profanity. And whats wrong with New Jersey?
My use of profanity has
My use of profanity has nothing to do with it, NJandrew. I was on-topic, I didn't try to derail the thread by bringing up the drama caused by coworker dating (which is irrelevant to the thread and Dan's question), and I addressed your thread to try to keep YOU on topic.
I didn't bring it up
Dan asked for an explanation of what the dipping pen in company ink meant..I gave it to him
all of them
here is a better list rogue :P
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sex_positions
"don't dip your pen in
"don't dip your pen in company ink, I think this phrase is very relevant in ibanking, because most of these women are overworked and exhausted."
Honestly, what the fuck does this mean? This is terrible writing. Dipping your pen in the company ink has NOTHING to do with the women being overworked and exhausted. You shouldn't have brought it up in the first place. Shut. Up.
[here is a better list rogue
[here is a better list rogue :P
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_sex_positions]
Yeah, but I was just looking for something quick that aims for the G-spot.
wtf does it mean?
Its like an old phrase...kinda like "catch more bees with honey" or "can't catch 2 birds with 1 stone". And its not IB specific, its universal, you don't fuck another IBanker,just like at Mcdonalds you don't fuck another window server or whatever they are called.
Andrew, I know what the god
Andrew, I know what the god damned expression means. I was referring to the poor flow (and irrelevance) of that post. You are so far behind. Forget it.
deal
deal
Dan/IBAspirant, as
Dan/IBAspirant, as requested, a point of view from a female banker:
When I'm working more than 110 hours a week, I definitely don't have the sex drive I'd have if I was working 40. I also can't spend hours screwing... I mean, as tempting as it sounds, if I could set aside two hours for having sex, I'd probably choose to have sex for twenty minutes and then spend the rest of the time sleeping. I-banking has definitely made me more like a guy in certain ways. I don't want to waste time seducing, cuddling, pillow-talking, foreplaying, or artfully flashing glimpses of my lingerie. I want to get the job done, get my needs taken care of, and get on with my life.
Does that mean that I just lie there, however? Hell no. It's really hard for girls to enjoy sex when they're just lying there. I mean, if we get turned on, we're going to move around. It's almost hard-coded. It takes actual willpower to stay still in that circumstance.
So what happened? Dan, I'm sorry to say this, but my own personal opinion is that you might have gotten gypped. I know you think she came, but I think there's a possibility that she didn't. Girls fake it ALL the time. Sometimes there's just no other way to fulfill the responsibility that one takes on when one chooses to have sex with someone.
Of course, this says nothing about you. Even the world's greatest lover is going to have a hard time making a girl come if she's frigid, exhausted, anxious, resentful, or just not in the mood. We're not like you guys. The biological drive is just not as constant and overriding.
Hopefully I haven't offended anybody here or started a big drama thing... just seems like I'm one of the few females on this board, and female commentary was requested.
Everybody just calm down
Everybody just calm down now. This post was not meant to engender so much hostility. It was simply me sharing an observation with fellow IBers.
RogueBanker, you just need to get that head of yours checked because you are one sick fuck. Fuck man, reading your comments makes me want to e-mail this post to the NYPD.
Dan, I would imagine most of
Dan, I would imagine most of the gunner females working in corpfin/IBD are rancid human beings to begin with.
Dude Dan...getting kind of
Dude Dan...getting kind of pathetic wouldn't you say? Banker by day, poor lover by night? Or vice versa.
And zala really needs to get your dick out of his mouth.
mrs ind, email me at
mrs ind, email me at dbush440@yahoo.com. i need to ask a question.
Hey, way to sling insults
Hey, way to sling insults from behind the double protection of both anonymity and the internet!
"banker by day, poor lover
"banker by day, poor lover by night," hahaha, thats a pretty good one. ill give you credit.
zala, why would they be
zala, why would they be rancid?
Dude, you should know
Dude, you should know better. Ask your question here. I can't do this through work email and personal emails are blocked. I'll give you an honest answer to just about whatever you ask.
alright, why would she fake
alright, why would she fake it? i dont think she did, i dont mean ti be vulgar, but i could feel the clamp and her face got red.
I dont know if the thread
I dont know if the thread title is true, but a lot of the females in banks are hot. Some don't look that good but mostly all of them keep in shape, the job demands it
Well, for starters, was she
Well, for starters, was she really wet? That tends to tell you she's having orgasms.
yeah, she was, i am pretty
yeah, she was, i am pretty confident she came. for the previous post, im at a bulge and there are some hot girls here, but they are not front office.
You actually asked two
You actually asked two questions, Dan. One was how could she be faking it, the other was why. As to the former, well, it doesn't take long for a girl to figure out that if she doesn't want to get caught faking, she needs to clamp and jiggle. As to the latter, the reasons for girls doing this are myriad.
I'm not sure how you hit on
I'm not sure how you hit on girls in the office, it would be kind of like talking to random people in class and trying to hit on them (which I'm about to do tommorow, girl is hot like fire).
"zala, why would they be
"zala, why would they be rancid?"
i don't know if i could answer that with your "dick in my mouth," but i'll try.
basically, think about the type of woman who would work 100 hours a week with the end goal of making a ton of money. i'm just going on personal experience here, but i can't see any healthy, wholesome girl i know giong into this line of work. not to mention most of these women are not going to be the understated, cultivated girls with modest wants - this is investment banking for christ's sake. this is the type of girl who salivates over $5000 dresses, purses, etc. do you see what i'm getting at?
By the way, I realize that
By the way, I realize that even bringing up the possibility that girls can fake and guys can't tell is a little stab in men's dearest bastion of self-esteem. For this, I apologize. Feel free to consider yourself an exception to this situation if it helps.
i cant believe it. fake,
i cant believe it. fake, shit. I'm going two floors down to have a little chat.
by the way, i disgaree w/zala. some women are just motivated.
By the way, Zala, I'm
By the way, Zala, I'm wearing $39.99 shoes and carrying a 30-euro handbag. My main luxuries are good wine (Chile, South Africa, Spain) and perfume (Coco Mademoiselle, Narciso Rodriguez), but never at the same time. Please understand that the banking world is more varied than you seem to think.
mis ind, i need dating
mis ind, i need dating advice. train me.
"even bringing up the
"even bringing up the possibility that girls can fake and guys can't tell is a little stab"
it is a stab in the direction of guys who freak out over how "good" they were in bed. if it weren't for them, girls wouldn't feel (nearly as) obligated to fake it. i could care less if you come.
South Africa? Stellenbosch
South Africa? Stellenbosch wine? It's good but heck you could get better anywhere else, isn't really a luxury.
"Better" is a matter of
"Better" is a matter of perspective. Certain wines from South Africa (sauvignons blanc in particular) have an elusive steel and stone flavor that you don't get anywhere else. When I drink wine, I want to taste the terroir -- however rustic, however imperfectly expressed. What I don't want (and don't care about) is how many points WineSpec gave it. Had Cakebread. Had Cristal. Wasn't impressed. Now, the $11.99 bottle of Txakoli from the Basque region with the obviously-desktop-printed label and the hint of must from ancient sherry casks... THAT is fascinating. Nobody in the wine world ages wine in sherry casks because they all know better. Which makes the wine from the peasants who don't know better all the more interesting.
"by the way, i disgaree
"by the way, i disgaree w/zala. some women are just motivated."
this is more than JUST MOTIVATED, dan. these junior bankers aren't trying to cure cancer or write a groundbreaking book. they're generally after money and power.
mis ind: i read your post, and i am convinced that you msut be cool in real life. but tell me, with a straight face, that you don't know TONS of intolerable girls in banking like i described.
Dan, I probably don't
Dan, I probably don't understand dating much more than you do. I was never one of the cool popular girls and they always seemed to follow rules I didn't understand.
So here's my dating advice.
1: Be completely honest.
2: Hope that the girl is doing the same.
3: Dump her if she isn't.
I always thought that girls
I always thought that girls only went after assholes? Hence why I'm an asshole (even though deep down inside I'm not).
I know tons of people in
I know tons of people in banking, both tolerable and intolerable. (Some of the male behavior on this board has been just as bad as the female behavior you're complaining about, for instance.) I think on average bankers aren't the best bunch of people, but the sigma on this population is HUGE.
But yeah, there's a bleached-blonde girl on my floor who has twenty pairs of Jimmy Choos shoved up under her desk and is always dating the richest bankers, drinking their champagne at Marquee, and shopping with their credit cards. She won't spare me the time of day and brags about how she blows off entire afternoons to go shopping. Yes, there are girls in banking who are total wastes of makeup.
yeah, good point. why is
yeah, good point. why is that mis ind? why do girls seem to always flock to assholes? it high school it occured, but that was high school. in college it was the same, that is an institution too. but in real life, what do u gals see?
"I know tons of people in
"I know tons of people in banking, both tolerable and intolerable. (Some of the male behavior on this board has been just as bad as the female behavior you're complaining about, for instance.)"
we're not talking about male bankers. say what you want about male bankers. i'm saying that i would put MONEY on the fact that the majority of female bankers are really terrible messed up, with major issues. i don't plan on dating these girls.
Dan: for the previous post,
Dan: for the previous post, im at a bulge and there are some hot girls here, but they are not front office.
So what department are they in. some of the ladies in front office at my place are hot, but look like they have real attitude problems. In other depts they are hot too but these girls are looking for any flash guy with a bit of cash.
A lot of the HR ones look ok.
"why do girls seem to always
"why do girls seem to always flock to assholes?"
c'mon, dan, you're smarter than this. it's not about high school, it's not about college.
i am going to start looking
i am going to start looking for girls who are doctors. fuck finance girls. i need a nice wholesome girl or im going to jump out of this fuckin window soon.
I'm getting me a housewife,
I'm getting me a housewife, fuck these career women, good thing every girl at my current college isn't career woman material, thank you southern colleges.